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Graduation [21 Jun 2005|11:52pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Well my first born baby is graduating from grade 8 tommorrow, we have her dress (which looks beautiful on her) her shoes (which I took great lengths to wear and break in lol my daughter has big feet) the nails and toes will be dones tommorrow then the hair appt and then the make up appt! Wow it is very difficult for me for some strange reason, I cannot stop crying every time I think or look at her. She is my baby and she is growing up into a fine young lady right before my eyes. I am so proud of her, of her determination, of her strength and of her ability to always do the right thing. I know that tommorrow I will cry during the ceremony, (I hope that I do not embarass her) But this may sound odd, but for once in my life I feel that I have accomplished something have done something right. I have raised this little girl into a fine respectable teenager, who loves others and has a caring heart. She always seems to do the right thing! She does not dress skanky, she respects her siblings, (sure we have fights now and again between them) and she helps out whereever she can. Now I know that I am tooting her horn but I am damn proud to call her my daughter.

Today she won an award at school it is called the Certficate of Honour (funny her and Christopher got it today, mind you I only knew he was getting it her teacher did not tell me she was getting it but that is all right cause I am going to take a picture with the certificate in hand of both the kids in front of the house)

I wish I knew why I was so emotional over this graduation ceremony, I just don't seem to put my tears in check these days.

Hugs

Car

[10] stood beside their own reflection.

Anger is sometimes the best policy! [18 Jun 2005|07:37am]
[ mood | angry ]

All right Marisa is back from camp and I despartely need your opinions on how I should handle this!

Last night they were misbehaving (talking after curfew hello she comes by it honestly) anyways they had to clean the bathrooms today. For starters I am all for punishment but they cleaned the bathrooms(non flushing toilets) and they were made to clean the sanitary napkin disposal, without gloves on! When they asked for rubber gloves they were told by the counselor to shut up and suck it up! Ok so my thoughts

1. Beat the shit outta the counselor!
2. Call the school
3. Call the camp
4. Beat the shit outta the counselor!

I know breathe car! but I am so pissed off that my child was put in danger with bodily fluids. I spoke with the other mom's and they are all appalled! one all ready called the camp and yelled and the others are going to wait until monday the counselor in question went home for the weekend! Just tell me where home is and I can guarentee she may not come back!

Even worse after cleaning the bathrooms that the three schools used they were made to clean up the Counsolors toilets!

Any comments?

Last night I checked on her over and over and over again

[4] stood beside their own reflection.

drunkness fun [07 May 2005|01:28am]
I am druink but that is ok casue the truth comes out when uou have been drinking;./

I awnt to say tath I am bleassesd to know you all and tongiht I had a drinkl for each and eyerfy one of my friends. I toasted to ypur health and lives. Take are ladies hopr all is well.. And for those that yOI read and comment on LJ I hope you undresatnd what I said.

Hugs


CAr
[9] stood beside their own reflection.

Better that is how I feel [04 May 2005|07:47pm]
All right my tirade is over. I felt horrible then 4 angels appeared and made me feel better. Thanks to my dear friends I am what I am today because of our friendship.
[7] stood beside their own reflection.

GUTTED [04 May 2005|05:26pm]
That's how I feel! GUTTED!

Beth [02 May 2005|07:21am]
This entry is in response to your lj entry.

My dearest Beth

I will respect your wishes for not renewing your lpu membership, I understand that it is a personal decision (although I wish you would change your mind) I will respect you for making this decision for yourself. I do hope that you will still keep me on your yahoo and e mail lists I still want to be friends with you hun, you have shared so much affection towards me that I would hate to see our friendship washed away. I want to thank you for making the AFC a special place for me to go and share my feelings, it has always been a safe haven for me in the lpu. All the best my dear Beth.

Say hi to Janis and give Oracle a tummy scratch!

Hugs and much affection

Car
[1] stood beside their own reflection.

Bryan's shit party! [24 Apr 2005|09:45pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | ONE STEP CLOSER ]

How appropriate that I am listening to a song that makes me want to scream SHUT UP!!!!!! lol! today's birthday party well how fucking fun was that! I am so disgusted with my family that I would like to scream! For starters the party started at 1:00pm first guests arrive at 1:30pm (my brother and his wife and Naomi!) and then my sister in law goes to breast feed cause they didn't do it before they left? WTF! you were late like you couldn't do it at home. Next my cousin comes in and holy fuck I have taken shits longer then she stayed! Excuse the lingo! she was here for all about 15-20 mins and 10 of those mins she was having a smoke in the garage! dumb fucks and this is the one that I moved heaven and earth for when she had the tubal pregnancy! Then it was time to open the cards well my brother gave bryan Blockbuster gift certificates....again WTF is he turning 5 or 35? well at least the kids will make use of them. My mother holy God good thing I was in the hall way and not the kitchen she may have been dead by now....As they were running out the door she hands Bryan a card and says oh there is no money in it Carolyn said you didn't want money!!!!Like who doesn't ever want MONEY! so I ask could you not have gotten off your FAT ass and bought something? holy crappers if it was your daughter in law you would have! But please note! As we were sitting in the family room she did pull out a shit load of baby clothes for Naomi that she bought (4 outfits and a spring jacket) so that leads me to believe she did visit a mall! again I smack my head and say WTF! ok now this only can get better right? WRONG! My sister in law gives him a card (this is Bryan's sister yes her and the druggie and the physco kid came) with nothing in it...Not that I cared but then I see my mother in law pick up her purse and pull my sister in law into the hallway...Has anyone ever taught this women the word DISCRETION! then Anne comes in and gives Bryan $40 so do you think that came from ummmm Mom's purse? *homer simpson doh* The only one that came through was my brother ADAM (yeah he knew not to fuck this up) he gave Bryan $40 in Home Depot gift card. How on earth can so many people be so absorbed in themselves? Well I am not sure but I did take notes so I can learn from my mistakes. No more Mrs. Nice Girl or Guy for us! Oh and the in laws gave Bryan a whole $100 isn't he lucky! His sister got $500 but that is because well lets just say she has a habit she has to support! oh yeah and my mother in law tells Marisa that Christopher and Matthew (my newphew) are really large boys! WTF large? is she taking FAT! yeah so they weigh more then her maybe she should watch out before they sit on her! So this is my day I have to laugh cause if I don't I will only cry. I sat there and kept saying in my head there is no place like AFC there is no place like AFC.....then I went into the kitchen and heard Bryan chanting there is no place like Deb's house there is no place like Deb's house! So we are in each other's minds as usual. he even considered having a drink! That says enough right there considering he doesn't drink!

Another WTF moment in the looney bin! Oh grandma is still in the hospital she will not come out and go home she will go straight into the nursing home, I have to go and see her when my cold gets better.

Hugs

Car

PS I did not sneeze in the cake! though I should have!

[10] stood beside their own reflection.

OUT OF SORTS [24 Apr 2005|01:29am]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | SOMEWHERE I BELONG ]

Well again I find myself in my journal ranting and raving about everything
and anything. Well to tell you the truth I have been out of sorts for several days it all started on Tuesday when I left work early cause my mind wasn't there. The week goes on and things just mount up and I just feel like I want to scream about now but I won't. My grandmother fell on Thursday night and I got the phone call at 10:45pm cause nobody else was answering their phone (my mom's car wouldn't start and the taxi was on the way) so I rush in there and meet the ambulance attendants and insist that they take her to the hospital they aregue with me but I did not back down. My grandpa with his dymensia remebers (god love him) that I was the one that put him in the hospital last summer and he is now convienced that I am evil and want his money! lol! The ambulance attendant were fighting with me cause they said she doesn't want to go to the hospital and we can't make her and I threatened them that if they didn't and she fell again then it would be on their heads blah blah blah! Anyways she is now at the hospital (my aunts and uncles are glad that I insisted) we were told by the care worker if she is in a hospital then it would be easier to find her a nursing home and well I had to stand firm even though I know she is angry with me. Now I have a stinking cold and can't visit her because I do not want her to catch it. Grandpa on the other hand everytime I come near him calls me Black Lulu (don't ask) so I am feeling shitty bout that and to top my week it is Bryan's birthday on Monday and our plan was to invite everyone over for dinner tommorrow night well everyone has a million and one excuses as to why they don't want to come! Hell talk about making him feel like a piece of shit! His family and my family. Ok it is not a important birthday but it is his birthday non the less. Needless to say my parents have all ready seen the TV and have complained about it's size and asked where are you getting the money! His family just got back from vacation and they will see it tommorrow. So they can bitch us out! We are having people over for cake and that is it! (they can't stay long so they can have their cake and go) Basically I am pissed off because whenever anyone needs something I am there or Bryan is there, putting up lights painting staining etc. and nobody in the family seems to give two shits about us. Well we both have decided that we will not live for them anymore we need to concentrate on our selves. Sorry for moaning and complaining but I feel so bad for my husband he truly feels like a piece of shit and I do not know what to do to help him.....Mind you spitting on their cake tommorrow sounds like fun!

Hugs

Car

[6] stood beside their own reflection.

Feelings [24 Mar 2005|11:14pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | Theme from the Apprentice ]

Well everyone I usually come into live journal to vent but today well actually tonight I am coming in here to tell you all about my thoughts about what has been going on with my life these past days. Most of you know about my grandparents God Bless them but they need to be committed (it is either them or me...) It is very difficult for my mother being the oldest at the thought of making the decision to have them put into an old age home (somewhere where they can get medical help as well as emotional) They will of course be together for as long as we can keep them that way the person who came to access them the other day said they were of high priority to go into the a home. Here in Canada you need a gereatric accessment before you can go into a nursing home, anyways right now my mother and her siblings are having issues, her sister has been busy with her daughter (my cousin who miscarried yesterday) my uncle Tom is like an ostrich, my uncle Todd is angry at anyone and everyone, and my uncle Terry has a 15 and 16 year old who have left their mothers home and have moved in with him and his girlfriendso they basically my mom is relying on me for help which I yep give her without hesitation.

Then we have my cousin who had a tubial pregnancy and since I have miscarried I seem to be the expert on everything she is feeling and thinking. So I have been at the hosptial with her holding her hand and chatting with her. Last night her husband went outside for a smoke and locked the keys in his truck (at the hospital) while the truck was still running so I had to go and drive him home to get new keys and back again.....Well last night was a long night surgery wasn't until 1:30 this morning.....

Ok there is a purpose why I am saying all of this.....I have been thinking that God only gives you what you can take on (yeah Beth I know we talked about this lol) well I feel that a heavy weight has been put on my shoulder but the strange thing is I do not feel weighed down? I think it is because I know that my sisters are praying and helping carry the weight. I believe that each and everyone of you is carrying part of my burden right now.....and I just want to say thank you for everything that you all do today and every day. I know that my sisters are thinking good thoughts and good wishes my way and I truly believe this is where I am getting the energy and the strength from.....I feel like I am superwomen (ok supergirl) and I can only be this with you ladies standing by me and guiding me through my day.

Do you ladies know just how wonderful you are? I know I have asked several of you this question but truly why do you think that you are all so wonderful? Why do you think I am wonderful (oh god I hope some of you think this other wise I am just sounding concieted) I think that we are only as good as our next sister I believe I am good because you ladies bring it out in me. You are my rocks and I lean on you daily crap ok hourly I wish I had known you all earlier in my life and maybe some of my decisions that I made previously would have turned out differently..I am the person I am today acredited to each of you I truly believe I have a quality in me that each and every one of you have taught me.....So ladies sappy yes but that is me.....I LOVE MY SISTERS!!

Hugs

Car

[7] stood beside their own reflection.

Thoughts [08 Mar 2005|09:57pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Well here I am sitting in front of my computer wondering how I can make things better for everyone, and I have come to the conclusion that I am who I am and I need to be accepted for that. If people don't approve of the way I do things in my life I certainly hope they will come and tell me rather then complain about me behind my back to other people, it certainly hurts the other person to have to defend me or keep their mouth shut so not to offend you! Well I am not disheartened I have passed that feeling long ago I am though I must say a little bewildered at some.....Well I guess those rosey glasses I wear certainly need to be taken off so I can get a dose of reality. Well just a quick note to some of my sisters Mel thank you for your undying ear! It has been my life line this past year Flo you have been a angel their just when I need you, I am sorry that I upset you this morning I thought about you all day long. Beth your conversation with me this morning was heart warming but you always know how to make me feel better. Tesha I am so happy we finally connected and I am glad that you understood what I said to you and you still love me for it. I worry about our friendship because of our busy lives and sometimes I just want to run and hug you, but you are busy, so I don't want to distrube you. Jen you have been a shining light to me giving me advice when I need it being a sounding board.....I am so happy that you and Mel are becoming so friendly I like to share my Canadian chickie with own of my first friends in lpu. Sarah, Jennie, Leah, and Deb we are wicked women but I am glad I am in the company of good friends and we shall all burn together lol! y'all have a piece of my heart and my soul my memories of you have been burned into my mind and I have the perma grin on my face, you have shown me kindness, hosptiality and shared my inner thoughts and given me wise advice. Yann you wild girl you I enjoyed talking to you drunk tonight it was good to see you having some fun it is due hun. Pili and Karla i haven't had a chance to connect with either of you lately I guess our time zone thing has gotten in the way I did enjoy chatting on the phone with you karla for a bit on sunday I wish you most like with the lizard. Evie I haven't chatted with you I hear that you are enjoying the game it can be addicting but remember you are thought about. Yoyo and Jamie I hope things are improving for you both, Yoyo don't work to hard I know how kids can wear you out, ladies I certainly hope to chat with you in the AFC soon.

Now for a bit about what has been going on with me. I have been having some problems with Christopher without going into to much detail as to what has transpired he has decided that mom is his local punching bag....God 11 and he can pack a good punch....Before you ask Bryan is stepping in when he is home and helping deal with the issue if he is not when he gets home I just don't know what to do I am at my wits end.....Tonight we had a minior outbreak and my son asked me "Why do you hate me mom" My tears are flowing because I do not hate him I hate his behaviour I tried to explain it to him but it is difficult. Poor Marisa has been taking a lot of his crap too, for some reason thankfully he doesn't bother with madison (he plays with her but never hurts her) anyways that is a brief explanation as to what is going on in my life and add that to the fact that my company is trimming the fat, as they put it and my girlfriend of 17 years at work has been let go......My mind is not that great. Rest is what I need hopefully I can find what I am looking for next week on vacation in Mrtyle Beach but for right now I will be right were I belong with my AFC sisters and their strength.

Hugs/Jugs

Car

[7] stood beside their own reflection.

Work Issues! [19 Feb 2005|03:03pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

All right I have spoken to only one person in regards to how I feel about this and I am asking for some constructive comments. (yes I know you all think I am a good person but right now I am feeling like a shit! because I am in total disagreement with this)

We have a girl at work her name is Ruth she has two daughters (twins 5 year olds) they were both premature and one of them has Cerebel Palsay (she is in a wheelchair but also uses a walker to get around) This daughter is Emma she is starting to go blind and with this disease will lose her sight within the next couple of years. Ok so here is where I am a shithead. Ruth and her hubby are separated (he will not get a full time job so his support of her and the kids comes from what he makes the judge ordered him to start working 30 hour weeks, yeah not full time but more then he did) Ruth comes from a large family she is one of 11 children and has an unbelievable support network with her family, She lives rent free in a home owned by her mother, (the mother bought 5 houses on the street and each of the married kids live in them without having to pay a dime yes it is kind of funny to see them all living side by side lol) anyways Make a Wish Foundation is funding a trip to Disney World for her and the girls for a 5 night stay. She is actually going to Florida for 2 weeks the 5 night in disney (courtesy of Make a wish) and the balance of the time in a Condo on the Ocean (courtesy of a lady that works with us has a condo there and is donating her place for the remaining 9 days, then her husbands company has donated $1000.00 spending money and Tim Hortons has donated another $1000.00) Now here is the shit part! They have decided that we will do a collection up from the employees of the store so they have spending money on their trip. Ok please take into consideration she is getting funding from the Canadian government for having a child with a disability, she has money coming in from March of Dimes and from other community funded programs. So I have been asked to sell tickets for a raffle on a cosmetic basket to help raise money and well I just can't do it. I told them that I will not sell tickets to something I do not support. If we were raising money for her have a ramp built or for a new walker fine my purse is open but for a vacation? I know that there are people in our store who would love to go away on vacation but can not afford it. There are other things that we can do but as it stands she is getting a free vacation and we are raising funds for spending money! WHY can she not bring her own? She has her Disney Tickets and flights paid for she has to pay for meals (yeah I know they are expensive) but she all ready has $2000 from the other places for spending money how much does she need? Well let me just say she is bringing with her her two sisters and their sons and her mother. So am I a shit for not standing behind this and supporting it full force? I just think that the money can be used in other places rather then a vacation.....Hell I would love to go on vacation but I see no one helping me fund it? Just a side bar this girl is always negative at work and she is the one that doesn't want the hubby she walked out on him he would come back in a minute all she had to do was ask. All right so basically this is why I feel kind of like a shit. That is my dilemna in a nut shell! This issue is dividing people in our store and it is a very uncomforable place to be these days.

Thanks for listening and for your comments

Hugs

Car

[4] stood beside their own reflection.

oooppsss brain fart [17 Feb 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

YANN YANN YANN! Hun your comments about C A R O L Y N OMG! you are too cute thanks for everything my little rainbow. Still fresh and don't over work yourself

Hugs

Car

[1] stood beside their own reflection.

My birthday [17 Feb 2005|08:36pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Well as you all know today is my birthday and I just want to tell you ladies a couple of things that you may not know about me. First of all I hate birthdays I really have a problem with my age (yes Mel come and kick my ass) I am so afraid of getting old and dying it has always been my fear. Anyways every year Bryan and I tell each other that next year for your birthday you I will buy you something and ever year it is the same old thing I get nothing cause the Christmas bills have come in and there is never any money. Same bullshit for valentines day as well....But this year everything has changed for me I am the QUEEN FOR THE DAY! My day started today well actually last night at 6:00pm (see it was midnight in France and my lovely Flo had set her alarm clock so she could come on yahoo and leave me a message) She sent me a wonderful birthday message and stayed and spoke with me for a bit before going back to bed. Knowing that there was someone on the other side of the world who was thinking about me today was magnificent...Later into the evening I again jumped on to Yahoo and there were Leah and Sarah welcoming in my special day....and then if it wasn't wonderful enough Flo came back on line and we were able to chat some more. As the tears streamed down my cheeks unbeknowen to my friends it was the best birthday I have had in a very long time. (wipes tears again) As I was about to go to bed up popped Tesha and Melissa so needless to say sleep was not coming anytime quickly for me (which is all right I was having too much fun) When I woke up this morning I checked my e mails and the vast amount of e cards was unbelievable I am so lucky to have people like you thinking about me.....and when I opened up my yahoo bang everyone left me wonderful messages and well wishes. Then I come into lj and Beth has left me this unbelievable birthday wish.....Needless to say the AFC message board filled with Birthday wishes (I haven't gotten in there yet tonight that is my plan after survivor) The phone calls from France, Germany New Mexico everytime the phone rang it was another pleasure to speak to another sister. But ladies I just want to tell you today even though I made dinner for my parents and my brothers (yes don't laugh) and my hubby couldn't get outta work early and I had my girlfriends kids oh yeah and my wedding band cracked (think it is telling me something) I have never had a more wonderful day. I sound like I am gushing right now but truly the feeling I have had has been overwheleming it is an indescribeable happiness (I think I now know what HEAVEN is like) it is a perfect place with all my special friends in it....and you are all my wonderful friends who without you I would truly be lost. Thank you for making this day a special one for me.

Hugs

Car

[5] stood beside their own reflection.

Jennie this one is for you! [13 Feb 2005|08:18pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Ok since you have placed no responses to your lj I am responding here. Today I saw you on lpu and I PM you twice and got no response. I have left a message on yahoo for you and no response. I have e mailed you several times and I am still waiting for a response. I see that things are tough for you and I would like to help.....This is not a jump on jennie it is a WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP....................If it is money you need I will do whatever I can to send you some or to give you something when I come to Chicago this March. Jennie please let me and your sisters help you...You are not alone.

Hugs

Car

[4] stood beside their own reflection.

Christophers Birthday [03 Feb 2005|12:08am]
[ mood | gotta be a first! ]
[ music | the poking of yahoo ]

Today Christopher turned 11 years old.... Boy it is hard to believe my son is a teenie! I just wish he would act like a pre teenager and grow up... sometimes he acts out and lashes out I wish that would stop soon...Anyways had a nice party he got money for going away to Mrytle Beach and he is happy and then we got to babysit my niece for several hours while the bro and wife went looking at new cars and I got her for 4 hours it was really nice to play and talk to her and see her smile. My kids are in total love with her.... They want one just like her lol no I tell them no! Anyways when they came to pick her up I told them that I want to be legal gaurdian if they die. They laughed and told me funny enough they were having a will made up next week and plan to have Bryan and I as the guardian's so hopefully i will get to be godmother too. I know I am asking for so much but my one brother's fiancee makes me maid of honour at their wedding I was hoping this could go my way too....

Anyways that was my day

Hugs

Car

[7] stood beside their own reflection.

Fed Up [31 Jan 2005|07:01pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Here I am again venting away about things but I am truly fed up. I just want to take this time to THANK BETH AND FLO for working so hard to make the AFC anniversary something special. Problem is I understand that people are afraid that people will be left out but how could any of you think that Flo Beth or myself would allow that to happen. Warm and Fuzzy I was thinking about it but right now I don't think I could come up with some Warm and Fuzzy for some people (and no Evie I am not referring to you in particular) I am definately the most outspoken I am sure the most obnixous and the most sensitive cause I am sitting here right now thinking about all the friends I am about to lose.

[5] stood beside their own reflection.

[09 Jan 2005|08:06pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Godsmack-Sernity ]

Oh I had to share this with you too the title is called


SISTER

She knows just where I
dream to go,
remembers where I've been,
Accepts me just the way I am,
and treats me like a friend.

She's someone who is there for me,
no matter where or when,
and every time I'm with her,
it's like coming home again.

My little bro gave it to me several Christmas's ago and today we started to peel the wall paper off the walls in the family room and I took it down off the wall and read it again. Wow it is beautiful

[4] stood beside their own reflection.

Summer Vacation [09 Jan 2005|07:57pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Godsmack- I stand Alone ]

Well since lpu is down and I will also copy this into e mail I wanted to make sure all of my sisters saw this offer. I know we have spoken about this before about where to vacation this summer and I offered my home! Well I am making it official! ALL MY AFC SISTERS YOU ARE INVITED TO SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER THIS SUMMER AT MY HOME! Since I live in Canada anytime between July 1-August 31 2005 is great, I know that Evie's daughter's birthday is the beginning of August so that wasn't the greatest time for her (Evie let me know the date of Alanna's birthday) You all tell me what is good for you and majority will rule. (hope that sounds good to everyone) Since I live about an hour from Niagara Falls and Toronto (so lucky to be smack dab in the center) I thought we could do some tourist things, (Leah and I have been chatting about it!)Let me know what you would like to do and what times are good for you and I will book my vacation time around it! Hell I might even farm out the kids for the time you are here! (extra bonus for me) We have a pool (20 ft around by 4.5 feet deep) and a trampoline (don't worry we have a security net incase you want to go wild and not break an arm or leg) My only rule is we need to sing fucking loud in the pool so my snooty ass neighbour knows how much we all love Linkin Park! lol! (just incase I didn't make it that clear this past summer) So it is outta there ladies let me know what you think.

Hugs

Car

[4] stood beside their own reflection.

Today [08 Jan 2005|10:34pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | Meteroa Tour Toronto Air Canada Center! Thanks Karla for it ]

Well today was my day off and it was wonderful (everything other then the bathroom visits and the knots in my tummy) having a chat with Deb, Yann, and Jen then tonight chatting with Karla makes me so very happy! Today I cleaned out my closet (lol sounds like an Eneimen song eh beth) and in it I have a shoe box (though it is prettier then a shoe box) full of all my LPU information and AFC cards and letters. I sat tonight and read everything over again and let me tell you that my heart is brimming over with such happiness. Someone asked me what does the AFC mean to me!!!!! Well in a word? INDESCRIBEABLE! I can't put my thoughts into words other then to say that these last 11 months have been the best time I have had in a long time. My daughter asked me tonight mom could you ever imagine life without Linkin Park and the AFC sisters? and I said no I don't remember the past with the darkness and uncertainty.......I only remember the light and the hands grabbing me from the darkness and then the personal inner strength that I have achieved! WOW! I am a new person (now if I could only lose about 30 pounds) I have a place where I Belong and can say whatever I want. I am not ever judged and I know that my sisters will say things to comfort me and to give me that needed kick in the ass when I needed it. I truly was not this positive a person before I met you ladies and I am just thankful (as well are my family and co workers) that I know have that bounce in my step and the patience I need to deal with day to day crap (yep I say your names aloud to myself! lol I remember the first time I did it I started Flo Flo Flo and my boss said what are you doing? When I explained that I am calming down she laughed, but now when I do it she knows that it relaxes me like a drug into my system bringing inner calm and wisdom. I just wanted to share something with you all that I found today in my closet (no it was not a vibrator get your head outta the gutter Melissa) most of us know the story about the Footprints in the sand where the man sees the two sets of footprints and then he only sees one and God tells him that during his darkess hours God was carrying him on his back and that is why there are only one set of footprints well I was thinking I no longer see my footprints in the sand because I have 25 wonderful sisters who carry me through my life on a day to day basis! So thank you my sweet sisters I LOVE YOU and pray for your happiness everynight!

Hugs

Car

[7] stood beside their own reflection.

Shit Ass Day [07 Jan 2005|09:41pm]
[ mood | I'm a bitch ]
[ music | Hero from Footloose! How SAD! ]

Today was a total shit ass day! i feel like a horrible person! I am a terrible friend and I am not being a very good christain right now. Boy do I need confession! Please don't worry about responding I just needed to vent! Really my thoughts today on everything! I should be strung up and left to dry! lol!

[14] stood beside their own reflection.

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